Dying Wish
by KateTheCat
Summary: Edward wanted Bella to move on, so she did. Bella pulled herself out of her depression. She hung out with friends, applied for college, and became best friends with Jacob Black. She thought of her months with Edward as the best of her life and, though she missed him, never once did she think of acting on those feelings. Until she was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. AU.
1. The Letter

_Dear Alice,_

 _Girl, you sure are hard to find. I had to pretend to be the freaking IRS to get the forwarding address to the forwarding address to your forwarding address._

 _I hope you and the family are well. I graduated high school a few months ago. I was going to go to Washington State._

 _But I didn't send this just to socialize. You might already know what's happened. You probably have seen me writing this letter because I thought about it for a long time._

 _Edward told me to take care of myself, to move on. Well, I did. Or at least, I tired. I applied for colleges, focused on school, and slowly but surely allowed other things to come into my life. Jessica and the others thought my depression was weird and didn't want to associate themselves with me. Mike still wanted to date me, but when I told him I wasn't in a place to date, he turned against me. I hung out with Angela and Ben, mostly. I spent time with Jacob Black until he left me, too._

 _But even with the loss of friends, my life was good. I regarded the months spent with Edward as the best months of my life, though it still stings to think about him. Of course, I missed you, but never once did I think of reconnecting until about a month ago, when my life came crashing down._

 _One month ago, I was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. There was no way I would survive because it was already too late to stop it. You might wonder why we didn't catch it earlier. Well, even after the depression, I still wasn't eating a lot and I never got enough sleep. We never thought anything was wrong except malnourishment and sleep deprivation. Also, pancreatic cancer is a sneaky little killer._

 _After I was diagnosed, I made a bucket list. I wanted to go in order, so guess I never thought I would live long enough to do this one. It is the last thing on my list._

 _Alice, I'm not sure if you know this, but Edward promised me peace without reminders. He took all the things that were proof of your family's existence. I'm starting to think that maybe I dreamed you all up, even though that can't be true._

 _I guess that maybe if I had those reminders, I would've gotten out of my depression faster and my cancer symptoms wouldn't have blended with my depression symptoms. But maybe not. I might've thought I just had the flu. Who knows?_

 _My dad was really angry when he saw my list. More specifically, the bottom of it. My mom was a little more supportive._

 _Alice, what I want as, if you would excuse the theatrics, my dying wish is to see one of you again. It could be Rosalie for Christ's sake, but I just want to see one of you. Edward should come, if he wants, but I really don't care. Even if it's no one else, you would come, right? Because you're still my friend even though Edward didn't want me, right?_

 _God, I hope so._

 _The nurse told my parents that I had up to two weeks, but I asked her in private and she said that I probably only had seven days, so please hurry. I'm sorry if this is a burden for you, but I just wanna see you again._

 _Tell the others that I wish them well, and that I hope they're enjoying Ithaca. You probably are, given the shopping._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Bella_

 **~O~**

She finished writing and signed her name. A nurse handed her an envelope and Bella sealed the letter and gave it to Charlie.

"Why do you want to see him again, Bella? If he hadn't left, you might've survived," he said, looking pained. Bella smiled up at him as she pressed a button on the hospital bed to make her lie down.

"Because, Dad, I want to see Alice again. He doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to. That's what I put in the letter," she replied.

"But the letter might not even get there in time. You said they live in Ithaca?" Charlie asked. Bella's smile grew into a smirk that reminded him of a criminal who knew something he didn't.

"They'll come, Dad, they'll come."

 **~O~**

2,908 miles away, Alice slipped back into reality, dry sobbing. She wished she could cry real tears.

Jasper, who was sitting next to her, stared at what she had drawn. She hadn't filled in the face, but he could guess who it was based off the level of sadness his mate was feeling.

"Oh, Jasper," she sobbed. "We have to find Edward."


	2. Reconciliations

Jacob burst into Bella's hospital room. It was the day after Bella had sent the letter to the Cullens, and she was hoping that they were only staying away for appearances.

Jacob froze in shock when he saw sleeping Bella's form connected to all of the tubes. She looked so frail and weak.

"Hey, man, it's okay," Embry said, coming up behind him and putting a hand on his shoulder. Jacob unfroze and went to sit in a chair next to Bella.

Charlie and Renee had gone to get some food in the cafeteria, even though Charlie didn't want to leave Bella's side.

"But it's not," Jacob whispered. "It's not okay, Embry. My best friend is dying and I was busy ignoring her to keep her safe and because Sam ordered me to. She had dated a leech, I should've known that she'd be fine. I could've tried harder to fight Sam, I could've-"

"Look, you can't change the past. But at least you're here now," Embry tried to reassure him.

"Yeah," Jacob replied bitterly. "At least I'm here when she's on her deathbed." He took her hand. She woke with a start.

Somebody was holding her hand. She whipped her head from side to side, and her face fell when she realized the hand that held hers was too warm to be one of the Cullens.

"Hey, Bells," a deep voice said. "I didn't mean to wake you."

She did a double take when she saw him. Who was this man at her bedside? Then it hit her.

"Jacob?" she asked. He nodded. She grinned, like someone told her she had won the lottery. It was astonishing, considering the position she was in. The her face fell. "B-but I thought you changed your mind, that you wouldn't waste your time with me." Jacob cringed. Embry stood up.

"I'm going to give you guys some time to catch up..." he said. Bella's jaw dropped when she saw him. The changes in him were more pronounced than they were in Jacob. She shook herself out of her shock as he left the room.

"Bella, I didn't stop hanging out with you because you rejected me," Jacob said. "I don't know how to put this, but, Bella, I'm a— I'm a—" he paused and took a deep breath. "I'm a werewolf. I'm only allowed to tell you because you're, well, you're, you know." dying. Bella smiled.

"So every month you turn into a wolf at night? And I thought girls had it bad," she smirked. By now, nothing could surprise her.

"No, all that full moon and silver bullet crap isn't true," Jacob replied cheerfully. He was surprised that Bella had taken the news this well. "You girls still have it bad."

They each sat in companionable silence, both taking in the situation. Jacob was amazed that she'd just accepted that he was a werewolf. Bella was still trying to get over this new shock.

"Bella, how did this happen? Why didn't they catch it earlier?" he asked. Bella sighed. She'd honestly had enough of these kinds of questions.

"Jake, do we have to talk about that? We can't change the past," Bella said. Jake nodded and the each basked in each other's presence, both having missed each other dearly when Jacob cut his ties to her.

 **~O~**

Edward gaped at his adopted sister.

The moment Alice had seen the vision of Bella writing the letter, she and Jasper were out the door, ignoring the questions from their family, saying that they would know soon enough. Through Jenks, Jasper had tracked Edward to Rio and now Alice was giving him the news. It had been three days since Bella had sent the letter

"So?" Alice prompted. When he didn't answer, she start growling. "If you don't come, I'm going to drag you there." Still, he didn't respond. "Edward, the girl you love is on her deathbed. Who are you to deny Bella her dying wish?" Alice hoped that maybe quoting Bella would get a response. Nothing.

Frustrated, she turned to Jasper. "Do you think that we could drag him to Forks?" she asked. Behind her, there was a rush of air. She glanced behind her before turning back to Jasper. "He'll meet us in Forks. And we have to call the others because Esme just read the letter."

 **A/N: Congrats to twilightfanjm for guessing the plot, although it won't happen quite the way you think...**


	3. Old Enemies & New Mindsets

Of course Esme was dry sobbing as she read the letter. She now knew why Alice and Jasper had left so quickly.

"What is it, dear?" her husband came up behind her. He read the letter from over her shoulder. "Oh, my."

"Rose? Emmett?" Esme asked, her voice pained. "We're going back to Forks as soon as Jasper, Alice and Edward come back."

"Edward's coming back?" Rosalie groaned at the same time Emmett said, "We're going back to Forks?" They zoomed down the stairs. Both froze as they saw Carlisle and Esme's faces.

"Who died?" Emmett asked, trying to lighten the mood. Rose pulled the letter out of Esme's frozen grasp.

"Actually, Emmett," she said in a strangled sounding voice. "I believe the right word in this case is _dying._ "

 **~O~**

Alice's phone rang five times before it was picked up by a pained Esme. It had been ten minutes after they had received the letter, and none had moved until the phone started ringing.

"Yes?" Esme answered.

"Meet us and Edward in Seattle. We have to go to her."

 **~O~**

Bella woke with a start. Something cold was wrapped around her neck.

And it was squeezing. Squeezing tighter and tighter to the point where she couldn't breathe. She opened her eyes. Wild red hair obscured her vision. Victoria.

She clawed at her neck even though she knew it was hopeless. She wondered why Victoria wasn't just snapping her neck. If she wanted Bella to die a slow death, why not just let her succumb to the cancer? It was a far more painful end than suffocation.

She could feel herself almost blacking out when Victoria let up. She still had her hands around her neck, but at least Bella could breathe.

"Hello, darling," Victoria said. "Long time no see."

"Why are you here?" Bella asked, honestly curious. She had long ago abandoned her resentments towards people. Dying had a way of making you do that. "Cancer is doing your work for you. I'll be dead next week. And I'm sure it's far more painful than the things you could dream up."

"You think my goal is killing you, dear?" Victoria asked. She giggled. Somehow, the bubbly sound seemed ominous and a little bit crazy. "Well, it was, at one point. But now death is almost guaranteed for you and your mate won't even come back for you, let alone turn you."

"As for the painful part, I think you'd be surprised at how much I've thought about revenge. Imagine," Victoria continued, dragging a sharpened nail across her cheek, almost drawing blood. "Me cutting every little piece of your body, dripping venom on your wounds." Bella gulped. "And perhaps, as a brief respite, watching every single person in this pitiful little town die by my hand, saving your friends and family for last. And once you're finished with the transformation, I would lock you in a room with them as you killed them." Tears shined in Bella's eyes. "And then, of course, I would kill you." Victoria added, almost as an afterthought.

Bella glared defiantly. "Then why haven't you already done it?"

Victoria grinned darkly. "Because, dearest, like I said before, that is not my goal. My goal was to make your mate suffer." Suddenly, she was on the other side of the room. "I'll be in touch, dearest! Ta ta!" And with that, she was gone.

Bella took a moment to calm herself. What did she mean, she'll be in touch? How much 'in touch' could she be in a week? And how exactly could she get revenge on Edward using Bella if he was who knows how far away?

Suddenly, Jacob burst into the room. "I smell leech," he growled.

Bella waved him off nonchalantly. "Oh, that was just Victoria. You know, the redhead that was going to kill me for revenge?"

"What was she doing here?" he thundered. Then he paused and asked confusedly, "And why are you so calm?"

"I assume she came to threaten me. And it's not like she can do anything that I haven't already accepted. Either I die from cancer as a human next week, or I get torn apart by her as a vampire next month. What's the difference? I'm still dead," Bella replied truthfully. "Honestly, the only thing she could do is hurt Edward, and half of me wants him to suffer, and the other half is at peace with what he did to me. I guess how I feel depends on if he comes or not."

"What do you mean, if he comes or not?" Jacob asked.

"Alice can see the future and he can read her mind, remember?" Bella reminded him. Yesterday, they had caught up with each other after they realized that they could talk about all the supernatural happenings in their lives. She didn't tell him about the letter though. She knew he would be mad, and she didn't want to disrupt this relative peace.

"And how exactly does he coming affect your mindset?" Jacob questioned.

"Well, if he doesn't come, then he's an asshole and deserves whatever Victoria throws at him, and if he does come, then he's just a misguided idiot who thought that taking every reminder of them was a good idea," Bella answered. "It's strange, how in death I find that my entire mindset has changed."

Jake scoffed. "Don't talk like that, Bells."

"And why not, Jake? It's the truth." Bella smiled sadly at him.

 _ **Please Read**_

 **A/N: Next chapter will have the Cullens in it! Please vote in the poll on my profile. Also, this will probably be a really short story, with a few chapters left and then an epilogue. I think this is kind of self-explanatory, but Renesmee will not be in this story, so Jacob will imprint on someone else. Please review with ideas as to who it is! Also, does anyone have an idea as to what I can make for cover art on this story?**


	4. Reunion

Rosalie growled at Edward when they first saw him with Alice and Jasper waiting for them at the airport exit.

"You idiot," she hissed. "First you drag us all to Ithaca, lying and saying that Bella was through with us, then you bail and go off to South America, and now you've ended up indirectly killing her. And not only that, but you claim to still love her. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Edward just shook his head sadly. Alice rolled her eyes.

"As much as we all would like to berate Edward, we can do that mentally while we're running. We really don't have time to talk right now. Also, someone needs to run back to the house to get a car so we don't look suspicious," Alice commanded.

"I'll go," Carlisle offered. And with that, they were off.

 **~O~**

Jacob, with his supernatural hearing, was of course, the first one to notice the commotion outside Bella's room.

He checked the clock. Charlie and Renee should've gotten back from dinner by now.

Suddenly, the arguing voices outside started yelling. Bella jolted, surprised. She looked worried.

Jacob decided that the worrying wasn't good for her. Neither was the surprise. Or the shock from Victoria just a half an hour ago.

"I'll go see what's going on," he told her. As he left the room, he didn't notice that he left the door slightly ajar.

The smell of leech bombarded his senses. Charlie seemed to be arguing with someone while Renee was trying to calm him down. As he came closer, he saw who it was. Alice and Edward Cullen.

He growled and stomped toward them.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he snarled. Alice stared at him, shocked. She cocked her head curiously.

She shook herself out of her confusion and answered. "Bella sent me a letter asking for me to come."

"She what?" Jacob asked, at the same time Charlie said, "Exactly. She sent _you_ a letter. Not _him._ "

"You knew about this?" Jacob asked Charlie.

"Yeah. It was on that stupid bucket list of hers," he replied.

"You know, this would be so much easier if you just let us through," Alice cut in.

"She wouldn't be in that hospital bed if it weren't for him!" Charlie yelled.

"My brother has every right to-" Alice started.

"If he had just stayed away from Bella, then she never would have been in any danger! From cancer or anything else!" Jacob cut her off.

"Oh, you're one to talk, _mu_ -"

"Has anyone one thought to ask me about this?" Bella asked snarkily. The air conditioning had blown the door to her hospital room wide open. "You know, because he was _my_ boyfriend and she was _my_ best friend and _I'm_ the one dying over here?"

Jacob and Charlie had the grace to look ashamed.

"Hey, Alice," Bella said softly, all her annoyance gone, along with her energy. "You know, you could come a little closer."

Alice hurried over, dragging Edward behind her. "Oh, Bella, you know we never meant for something like this to happen. Edward was just being stupid and..." she trailed off, glancing at Charlie and Jacob.

Bella made a shooing motion with her hands and they reluctantly closed the door and left her alone with the Cullens.

Alice turned to Edward. "Well, are you going to explain, or should I?"

He looked at Bella. "Bella, love." he started. But why was he calling her love? He didn't want her anymore. Right? Right?! "I never meant for this to happen. When- When Jasper attacked you it made me realize how unsafe it was for you to be around us. At any moment, one of us could snap and kill you. Do you understand how much it pained me to have you in constant danger, love? Do you know what it would have done to me to see you-" he swallowed, "dead because of one of us?" Not waiting for her answer, he continued.

"So I left you. I needed to save you from us. But I knew that you wouldn't let go so easily. So I told you I didn't want you. I thought it would take months to even sow the seed of doubt, for you to even fathom that I didn't want you. And yet it took little more than a week. Because of that, because of your quickness to go along with it, I thought for sure you had known my plan, or had already moved on. I didn't think you would have such a hard time with it and I didn't even know..." he trailed off and waved his hand at the medical machines as an explanation.

Bella stared at him. Every- _literally everything_ \- she had done in the past year was based on _two simple facts._ That Edward didn't want her anymore, and there would be no more supernatural interferences in her life, so she had to get it together. (Obviously, the latter didn't matter as soon as she was diagnosed, because then all she had to worry was saying goodbye and her bucket list.)

She screamed into her pillow in frustration and sadness. Her entire mindset (the new healthy one, where she didn't have urges to jump off cliffs and she forgave people for their past differences) could be summed in in one sentence. _Edward didn't want you, so now you've got hustle, get it together, and make the best of your short life._ The thought process had brought her so much happiness, and yet one of its core principles was _wrong_. And not just normal wrong, but dead opposite wrong.

 _Okay, new philosophy._ She thought. She was not going to let these negative emotions take up one more second of her severely shortened lifespan. _I'm going to die in a few short days so I am going to make the best of what I have now, including the Cullens, my family, and Jacob._

"Edward." He looked at her. "You are an idiot. I still love you, and always will for the rest of my existence." And with that Bella turned to Alice. "So what have you been doing?"

Edward gaped at her, but Alice smiled. "It's good to see you, Bella. And I've been researching my past life. Apparently, I'm from Biloxi, Mississippi, and my real name is Mary Alice Brandon. I had a little sister named Cynthia, and my niece is still alive today."

Bella smiled. It was good that Alice had gotten _something_ out of that horrid encounter with James last year.

"Did all of you come, or just you two?" she asked. It would be understandable if Rosalie or Jasper didn't come, but she had gotten rather close to the rest of the Cullens during the summer after her Junior year, and it hurt her to think that they wouldn't want to say goodbye.

"Everyone is here except for Carlisle, and he's just getting our car so it doesn't look suspicious," Alice replied. "We just got first dibs because Edward needed to explain, and Charlie wouldn't have let him in if I didn't come up with him. We didn't want to overwhelm you."

Bella chuckled. "I may be dying, but I'm not that fragile, Alice."

Alice grimaced at her nonchalance. Suddenly, Edward sniffed the air.

"Your room is covered in-" he wrinkled his nose. "Victoria's scent?" Alice smelled the air too.

"Yes, at first the scent of _mutt_ covered it up but... What was Victoria doing in here, Bella?" Alice asked.

"Oh, the usual. Threatening to use me as revenge for James's death. Mate for mate, was her idea, I think, but I'm already dying, so I don't think it makes any difference whether she or cancer kills me," Bella replied.

"The usual?" Edward growled. "How long has she been doing this?"

She thought for a moment. "Ever since you've left. I hung out in La Push a lot, because that seemed to keep her away. Now I know it was because of the wolves."

"You're relaxed about this," Alice stated flatly, but Bella knew it was a question.

"I've accepted my death, Alice, whether it be by Victoria, or cancer, or an earthquake. There is no way that I will survive," Bella replied. She was starting to get tired of explaining this to people. Hopefully Alice would tell the others and she wouldn't have to explain it to them too.

Alice's eyes glazed over, and Bella knew she was in a vision.

 _Edward in front of the Volturi, begging for death._

Upon coming out of the vision, Alice glared at him. _Edward, you better not…_

Thinking quickly, she grabbed Edward. "It was nice talking to you, Bella, but we don't want to take up all your time. The others still want to talk to you, so see you later!" She blurted as she dragged Edward out of the room.

 **A/N: Thank you all for the lovely reviews and support! I'm going to update every weekend guaranteed, and hopefully, I can update more often than that, but I do have a life so my weekend is my only free time. I'm thinking only 3 more chapters left and then an epilogue.**

 **And finally, a big thank you to JaelSarjenka for the cover art idea!**


	5. AN

**A/N: Hey guys. I know it's been a long time and I know you expected a chapter** _ **weeks**_ **ago and I'm sorry.**

 **I realized something today. I remembered that I still had to write this and I only had four** _ **ridiculously**_ **short chapters to write so I sat down with my laptop and immediately got work.**

 **Now, it's been** _ **years**_ **since I last read, wrote, or even thought Twilight, or any twilight fanfiction. So for me to be able to sit down and write a chapter without so much of a refresher, I figured** _ **something**_ **was wrong.**

 **I realized that either I was writing these characters as completely one dimensional or these characters were originally written as completely one dimensional.**

 **I don't know which one, which shows how long it's been since I've seen anything Twilight related.**

 **Since I don't feel like rereading an entire series, I can't really do this fic justice. It's completely outlined, ready to be written, but I can't write it.**

 **So I leave its fate up to you, dear reader. There are four chapters left. Four very short, very easy chapters left. Anyone (who has recently read Twilight and understands the characters) could finish it.**

 **Review if you're interested.**


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